Mental Battle

Receiving my second rejected application, I come crumbling down with sadness. Not because I was at all surprised by this rejection, but because I appear to be scared of my narrowing choices. It is a very odd feeling, as my friend try to snap me out of it. I am sad yes, but its more of a being wounded feeling rather than knocked unconscious. It is two days until Xmas, and as I looked forward to the New Year, it was quite a stark reminder that I am still quite vulnerable despite my optimism.

Keeping an eye on the goal; flying! 

As I sat and skimmed the email, it was like I was propelled back to denial. Pfffff, breath, I reminded myself. Pffff, speed bump, keep your eye on the goal. As I moped, allowing time for myself to recuperate, I read a bit for distraction, ate dinner, watched the news and re-read the email several times to make sure the information has sunk in.  A few hours later I am now back at my desk ready to jump back in.  I had let statistics scare me.  Ok the odds for me were not great, 12 spaces for approximately 8000 applicants (last year's application statistic), but that is a factor I cannot control.  So keep your eye on the goal, I reminded myself, as I am doing the best I can.  That means, since my first application, I have read more about piloting and the aviation industry; more maths revision test papers than I care to remember; applying to jobs within the aviation industry and even learning to swim more efficiently. I can swim, in a pool, but when it came to open water I knew I was very weak. So cue friend who used to be a competition swimmer. She is so enthusiastic she is even suggesting I practice scenarios – “what if you need to jump from the aircraft into the water, I'll teach you to dive”, and “will you be swimming in your clothes, cause we can arrange that too?” Others telling me that I am the energetic and encouraging one, so snap out of it! I am warmed by the network that has been built around me, and push on.

So while I thought I knew how to swim, I soon found out that actually, I knew nothing.  After a 30 minute blitz session my body ached. My biceps and thighs have not felt so bad since the day I started to try rock climbing.  What was new was the abs being so well worked too.  I was super hungry by the time I got out of the pool!    

As for my mental mind, I push the memory back to when I do sports to draw strength.  Like in sports, a life goal can only be achieved through setting smaller targets.  By meeting those smaller targets, you are constantly building on your strengths to finally reach your goal.  This career path is no different.

So, bearing in mind that I must pass a vigorous medical exam (class one) every single year from now on, and with mental and physical training, I have also lost weight and have not felt this strong since playing hockey in my early twenties.  I will (ahem) forget that at the beginning of this week I tried to run for a train, and nearly fainted half way.  I may have to work on my running as well, that or do not run.  Every sign outside commands that I "do not run" anyway, I am just doing my British duty in complying!  Do I need to run?  What aviation scenario will I need to run?....  I hate running.  Though I am not where I want to be yet, every lesson mental and physical I learnt in my past is now kicking into over drive - I will make it!    

   

Piloting a plane and rock climbing are akin?

It came to somewhat of a surprise when I came across BA's latest share, which compared piloting to free climbing. While I must admit, I have never before considered the comparisons other than both activities being based high up in the air, I would argue as someone who does both activities, that piloting is actually more akin to sport (climbing and clipping your rope into bolts already drilled into the rock), or traditional climbing (climbing with ropes and you put in the safety bolts as you climb).  I am especially drawn by the unfair reputation that rock climbing has with those who do not partake in the sport itself.  We as the majority in the community know that rock climbing is a risky sport, but we calculate our risks.  If as a beginner, you decide to try rock climbing, you will find that every climbing facility in the world will not just admit you into their arena, they will carry out due diligence to ensure you know what you are doing before setting you loose.  You will not be short in advice if you asked a fellow climber, or the CAA in the aviation world, nor would there be a shortage in a scolding if as a climber you put another climbers life at risk.  This would be the equivalent to an air disaster and this news being spread across the world scrutinising this incident.        

While the article begins that for both activities time is of an essence, really this is just looking at the concluding part of each activity. A climb or flight would only take place if after all other checks, planning and risk assessments have been made and deemed ok to go ahead. Only then does a climb have to be completed within an allotted time, perhaps before night fall unless you are prepared for it. With a flight, it is only when an aircraft has taken off does arriving at the destination in a timely matter then come into play. And here you begin to spot the similarities.

Both activities have checks in place to minimise risk. One, planning your route. Two, checking the weather. Three, checking your equipment. Four, making sure you have the correct staff, or climber, with the ability and skill to carry out the activity required.  After this, the similarity of piloting and free climbing ends, and should be replaced with traditional (or sport) climbing instead.

Free climbing is climbing up a rock face without the use of ropes or outside support. Therefore you are only relying on your equipment, what you have prepared, and judgement. For a free climber your equipment are your arms and legs, and anything that is connected to them i.e. fingers and climbing shoes. For an aircraft, the equivalent of this would be an electronic free aircraft with no support. That would mean no TCAS (radar collisin avoidance system), no auto pilot, no air traffic control (support tower), no monitors and most certainly no co pilot. The individual pilot would need to rely solely on their skill, what they have prepared, and basic equipment; the aircraft.

In comparison, traditional climbing comes with rope and your support team. The rope of course being the electronic systems in jumbo jets, and the support team being your mechanics, ground staff, air traffic control, co pilot etc. And both are about team work as you cannot trad climb without a belayer ( or co pilot) i.e. the other person holding onto the other end of the rope as you climb.  So it's important that you fully trust your teammates, and that he/she can carry out their job to a high standard.  That they act responsibly, and that they fully understand the gravity of this responsibility; just like the expectations demanded of a pilot, co pilot and surrounding support staff, as we all have at least one life in our hands.

Like many outdoor activities, trad climbing also has it's own code of conduct, some of which lists that when you are finished with your climb, all bolts and bits that you have placed while climbing is then removed to preserve the climbing wall for other climbers. This includes taking your rubbish home!  The airlines equivalent of this is to reduce carbon footprints; to minimise pollution, recycle, and preserve future air channels for use by another aircraft.  

In the early days of commerical flights, a practise called "see and be seen" was emphasised, this is where a pilot is responsible for avoiding other traffic by spotting them in the same airspace as you are flying as a lot of airspace was not 'controlled' back in the early days.  Over time there has been recognition, particularly after the Grand Canyon air collison in the fifties that woke up the world to the dangers of increasing air traffic, that pilots needed further aids to help them spot imminent dangers such as other aircrafts, and reduce the risk of flying.  While free climbing cannot be regulated to such an extent due to it is the decision of an individual whether they would like to free climb or not, there is a growing recognition and questioning by the climbinClif Bar withdrawing their sponsorship of several free climbers.          

g community whether taking such an extreme risk (free climbing) should be so widely promoted.  This was highlighted with

So while I agree both piloting and rock climbing are very similar, even the technical jargon of both are mumble jumble to outsiders, different forms of climbing equate to the range of aircrafts, they can be very different.  

Airbus A320

As I sat on one of British Airway's (BA's) new A320 aircrafts down to Heathrow, I couldn't help but coo at the sleek interior - leather seats, rounded back supports and a pocket at the top of the seat.  I don't know if this is because of the heightened awareness I now have of aircrafts, or that I genuinely have learnt to appreciate that I'm not a Ryanair 'sorta gal'; just as I'll get mucky with cycling through every mud drenched puddle in the pouring rain on top of a Scottish hill in low temperatures, but I draw the line at camping!  It's like converting back to being a toddler and jumping into every puddle you can find.  The bigger the splash and mess you can make, the more satisfying it is, but I also like my complimentary luxuries to then be fresh again.  After a workout, who wants to then put up a tent and cook your own food only to sit in your now rain drenched plastic cover (tent) to avoid turning out that way yourself?  So that is how I ended up cooing and running my fingers along the sleek seat in front of me, trying not to look like a driveling crazy person whilst I did it in giddy excitement.

Ok, cheating a little, these are a compliment from a recent
KLM flight, not BA

And the complimentary luxury, free drinks and a snack.  Gone are the days of complimentary meals with each flight, but I guess a drink and snack is better than nothing as even if I was choking from the dry air caused by the circulated air conditioning system, I would still need to pay for that bottle of water from that other airline; true story!  In the last of my abundance of three flights with this airline, in the last flight, I watched in empathy whilst this well build square broad shouldered guy try to settle into his seat, squished in the middle seat beside me.  I felt so sorry for his predicament, though it did put himself in that situation, I moved as far along my seat as possible to help him out, only to still be elbowed every now and then.  He couldn't even put his tray all the way down to flatten it before it reached his, now coming to think of it, well tucked in legs/knees.  I smile at the thought of airspace deregulation which allowed for budget airlines to pop up and making flying abroad for a holiday become more widely accessible.  But at the same time, that someone then chooses to sit like a sardine stuffed in a can.  Progress, in baby steps.  

For me, my holiday starts with the moment I leave the door the morning of the flight, not when I arrive at my destination, therefore the journey of how I get somewhere is also an important part of my experience.  That and I have long since appreciated flying, still sitting on a seat up in the air marvel at the fact that in a two week holiday I can end up passing through six countries.  That I can fly twelve hours and feel cheated that there is only a two hours time difference.  (My trip to South Africa.)  Or sitting on a seat next to the window and curiously wondering how on earth such a simple looking thing as an aircraft wing, with it's sleek shape, can be so complicated in it's construction.  And the fact that it was only one of a pair that is holding us all up above the clouds.  I often look across it over the clouds and blue skies.  This is why I try to not take the cheaper option when able because staring out the window while in a claustrophobic and constrained environment is not exactly a breeding ground for romanticism and gratitude.     

So, as I sadly enjoy the flashbacks I'm still getting on the A320, I continue to read up on Airbus' new design aircrafts...  Only to come across Boeing's new 777x aircraft wing, curved, like an Albatross.  Oooooo~~

Flight paths

So now that I've made that, mental commitment, there are several different paths I can take to reach the flight deck.  For those with zero to little flying experience, you can apply for courses direct with flight schools or airline companies, however with the latter you must have the right to work in the country where that airline (HQ) is based.  Both options will test you on maths and pilot aptitude tests.  With applications direct to airlines, they will most likely also test you on science, aviation questions and company knowledge.

If you are applying to flight school, you can apply for a course at different stages, depending on your requirements (experience).  For me personally I would have to start from little flying experience, so a course which teaches you from the beginning.  While learning about the different courses, I also found out why it has been difficult revising for my PPL (Private Pilot's license) whilst working in a stressful full time job and trying to balance your social life.  Though the seven papers required to be passed are multiple choice, the information a student is required to learn is A LOT, and this is why flight schools offer Ground school - to help teach you the theory required to pass.  For the courses I am currently looking at, they assigned 26 weeks of study for theory before you even step foot into an aircraft to start physical training.  Ok, now I don't feel so bad having not sat my exams, yet!  And that's just the beginning as you have to learn to fly on a small aircraft before gradually building up both your flying hours and size of aircraft.  If your head is not spinning yet, you also have to take into account all the jargon used within the industry whilst also trying to fund this whole training process, a process which takes if studying full time, on average two years to complete.

Airlines used to pay to train their pilots, however due to economy, many no longer do this.  Keep in mind that those airlines which still do, you can only apply if you have the right to work in that country.  So options can be very limited, though not impossible.

If you do decide to take that leap, and is not the lucky few which get a full airline funding for your training, you will have to keep in mind that due to the costs involved, that to take out a loan will require some form of backing.  For the majority, this is where the conversation with the parents start with the a (very British) cup of tea!  There are specialist banks out there which cater for this specific niche loan market, so like everything else do your research to find out what suits you.  That and I'm not a financial advisor so cannot comment further.  For my own personal finances, let's say it's going to be an interesting one when I get onto a course!

So I will end this post with a wise man's inspirational words, and
carry on:
"It always seems impossible until it is done" - Nelson Mandela.


  

 

Commitment

I don't know what's more daunting, trying or not trying as I sit here through another sleepness night; my body clock now completely out of sync. A little earlier I watched as it snowed for the first time in my area this winter, no wonder I feel cold.  It has certainly been a long year this year as I begin my next journey.  

Last weekend I had headed down to Southampton to visit the flight school of my choice. Up until then I felt that I was getting too comfortable in my land of neutrality where I made no decision, and so had no risk of success or failure; I was starting to lose my momentum. The school was very impressive, and with a very good reputation within the industry. The speakers were informative, the school representatives were very generous and friendly with their advice, and both the course and facilities were shiny attractive. I was both excited and petrified to be there as I realised that my dream was both achievable, and the commitment involved is petrifyingly huge.  But at least I now know, for sure.  Also up until this point, even despite all the research online, to hear that information first hand was the confirmation required to hit it home for me.  I left the school with renewed excitement, which soon turned to fear, and moving between the two points since then like an analog signal.  What a scary journey this will be.         

But this is it, this was why I quit my stable full time job, and for the first time in a very long time, I was afraid of losing something I wanted.  I had forgotten what it was like to want something, and to think for a long period of time I was trying to talk myself out of it.  I was in a stable office job, guaranteed that I would have the weekends off, have no over time, and was only 10 minutes commute from my house.  I have my car, I have my circle of friends, my colleagues were great, I'm settled and I have my outdoor activities here in Scotland.  It was safe, and it was available.  And yet over time I grew restless, something was missing.  I only stopped questioning myself after being reminded by a close friend that it was odd seeing me want to "settle", regardless of the path I was going to choose.  And so with everything in mind, and making sure I was also financially viable to make that decision, I made a decisive one - I would change my career and head into commercial piloting.  It was time, now or never.

So now I'm working on improving my mental acuity, and my maths.  Two main requirements as when I do get invited to interview, I will be tested on both.  Mental acuity being pilot aptitude tests i.e. using controls to test hand-eye co-ordination, pattern recognition, reaction time, memory, spacial awareness and multitasking.  Like my closeted feelings, my brain also has quite a few cobwebs to dust off as it's been a while since I've had to use it to such an extent.