Post selection day - results

Front entrance to Dibden Manor in the evening

So keeping with the interest of being open, I received my results from the assessment last Mon, the email was sent just before noon.  I was at the time on Lismore Island cycling to a spot where I could receive mobile data.  (Read about my travels at Dizzytravelling, click here.) I had planned a road trip for the week after the assessment purposely to either celebrate, or commiserate.  As I stopped outside a cemetery, sponsored by the lottery as advertised by the shiny plaque near the front entrance, I sit down in front of the information points in time to hear a roar above my head, followed by a black fighter jet zipping above my head in the clear bright blue sky.  It was teasing me.  At this spot I managed to receive a 4G signal, which was a hit and miss on different parts of the Island, as I found out when I would receive messages in odd spots, and I mean there is nothing but farmland but still receiving messages, spots!  At least the cemetery is next to the only main road that runs all 12 miles from north to south of the Island.  And the Island is only 1 mile in width, that's how small it is.

The back garden view to the Manor in the evening

As I read the email, the dreaded feeling that offered me only broken sleep through the entire weekend, even up to yesterday, came to fruition.  Fail, followed by the usual generic feedback.  The weight, exhaustion from not having slept properly since last Tuesday night, and the complete depletion of energy instantly erupted into anger.  I was livid, at myself.  I had already cycled 5-6 miles at that point, half of it over rough hilltops, so I needed  both rest, and to calm down.  As we were all informed at the assessment presentation that we would receive feedback from the day, I read and re-read the email in confusion.  "What kind of feedback is this?  It's completely generic?!"  After chatting with some friends over social media of course, I am a millennial after all, I got moving again.  I'd like to say that that was 30 mins later, but I really didn't know how long it was.  The sun was shining on me, I was in a peaceful place, and I had a bit of time before I needed to cycle back to the small ferry port to get back to the hotel on the other side - Port Appin.  It turned out it would take me a further six hours to calm down, and a further two days to start recharging.

One of the selectees from the group had decided to get everyone's number so that we could all share in each other's results.  I have to say I was skeptical at first, wondering if it would be strange to know if someone passed while you didn't, but it turned out that it was a great idea.  Though I didn't pass myself, it was nice to that others did, especially those who had taken the assessment several times already.  We offered our congratulations, and encouragements.  I wonder if I will meet some of the others in six months time...  

Port Ramsay on Lismore Island

As planned for my road trip, I was to travel to Arisaig on Tues.  I arrived with the sun blaring, and sea kayaking waiting for me.  As we made our way down the coast, we had stopped for a short break in front of Cambusdurroch beach.  It was here I received an attempted call from one in the careers advisor team regarding feedback from my assessment day.  It was both an inconvenient moment, and I had not fully recovered, so I decided not to take the call.  No point in taking or calling them back if I was not fully receptive.  As I sat down onto the beautiful sandy beach staring out across the sea into the Skye's Cullins mountain range in the background staring back at me from a distance, a loud noise is echoed through the sky.  Suddenly like out of nowhere, about 500ft in front of me, and must have been about 300ft in height from the sea, a green jet fighter whizzes across peripheral horizon, turns 90 degrees on it's side flashing the plane's underbelly to me, and a couple more blinks of the eye later, scoots between two mountains and disappears.  I sit continuing to blink, mouth hanging open and questioning whether that just happened.  I don't even have a photo to prove it, it moved too fast.  My guide informs me that of the years he's been there he's never seen a jet fighter fly by before, never mind in such close proximity.  That's two in two days, is this a sign!?

By Thurs afternoon, as I was sitting on the ferry back to Mallaig, that's the end stop of the Harry Potter train by the way, for those who are interested and don't know where the port town is, I decided to give the school a call back.  I was both ready, and I finally had the time, as today was the last of my small island hopping.  I landed, packed my bike back in the back of the car and sat in the driver's seat just staring out into the open sea, only to be stared right back by the Isle of Eigg.  After the generic email, I wasn't quite sure what feedback I would receive.  

Phone box on Lismore Island

First the advisor confirmed that the email is generic, after I shared my concern.   Then I was walked through the positives and negatives, given more detailed tips and then advised on how to prepare for a second attempt, should I wish to proceed.  Though it is said that applicants have only two chances to try to get onto a flight course, and though I had to wait for 6 months to reapply, the school did not invite all applicants back for a second assessment try.  I was further encouraged, or was very 'sales talked to' depending on how you look at it, that the assessors had written that though I am good, I am not quite there yet.  As such, they believe that in six months time, I will be better ready to proceed with the course.  Of course the obvious sales pitch was the advisor telling me that should I reapply, I will "only" pay the slightly reduced cost to sit the assessment.  Yes folks you heard me right, you have to pay to sit the assessment.  I have to say, I wavered earlier this week about CTC Aviation after the results were released, needless to say, after such a positive phone call, my faith was renewed.  Not that I would give up anyway!

As friends started asking me about the results, and offer their commiserations, which don't get me wrong I feel very lucky to be surrounded by such a supportive village of people, do not feel sorry for me, I am fired up and ready to relaunch!  If I fall and give up after my first big hurdle, I certainly don't deserve to be in this industry.  Resilience, handling tasks under pressure, and continual learning is part of the job description, that I have in abundance.  As I reassess my options, and readjust to this first failed attempt, I will in the meantime work on my negatives, first by playing more joystick controlled computer games, especially the 3D spacial tracking ones.  Dang, I never thought I would be slapped in the face by my weakness in playing computer games before, had I known I would have learnt to control Sonic a lot better back on my Game Gear (Sega). 

Looking out from Lismore island onto an unnamed Island, and Mainland UK in the background